She's at it again!

So tonight was the reverse psychology game – Apparently Tana really really wanted some brussels sprouts  the last time that she was at Sprouts Grocery store; since she’s never had them before, nor have we really even talked about them, I can only assume that since she was at Sprouts, then she should have some brussels sprouts.  Why not alfalfa sprouts, radish sprouts, or any other type of sprouts, I don’t know – she wanted brussels sprouts; or at least that’s how the story goes as it was told to me.  I, on the other hand, figure that Hillary planted a seed in some motherly way to get Tana to say she wanted brussels sprouts in a way to gain majority control as Hillary likes them and knows that I don’t.

However it happened – they bought brussels sprouts while I was at work today and Tana and Hill had them with their dinner.  Hillary nicely told me that I didn’t have to have any as she only cooked them for herself and Tana.  They had semi balanced plates as far as multiple colors of food to eat while  I had a very brown and orange dinner of oven-baked chicken tenders and roasted sweet potato strips without a green thing in sight – meat and potatoes; what can I say…

Near the beginning of the meal, as I was quite enjoying what I was eating; Hillary turned on her Jedi mind waves.   Before I knew it, I was putting my fork into one of her brussels sprouts!  These are foul little green things that resemble mini cabbages but without any of the other yummy fillings of an egg roll or other Chinese food that makes a cabbage appealing.  There was no sweet and sour or hot mustard (not to be confused with regular mustard..oye, that brings the gag reflex..), no way of smothering the taste of the brussels sprouts, just me and the brussels sprout with hardly a thing between it and my taste buds.  I could tell there was some spices of sorts and they had been lightly browned by some  fashion of cooking; but that’s hardly a way to disguise the taste or otherwise make it a safe food. Regardless of how they were prepared, that doesn’t really matter  as I had one on the end of my fork and for some inexplicable reason, I actually voluntarily moved the fork toward my mouth!  (Mind tricks I tell ya)   My entire body must have been under some remote control as my mouth didn’t purse the lips as it should have,  the teeth did not clench, even the last line of defense, the tongue, didn’t spit it back out – all complied with going through the process of  eating this foul thing as if they had always been doing it and enjoying it.  Didn’t they know that we , yes I’m talking about the entire system of the body as a we; that we do not like brussls sprouts!?

At the point that I realized what I had just done, I think I was finally able to completely connect on a personal and emotional level with the poor schmuck that Sam from Doctor Seuss’ Green eggs and ham harassed.  I am Ben, I am, and I do not like green brussels sprouts, not on a plate, not slightly browned, not cut in half; I don’t like brussels sprouts! – but I did… ugh -  is nothing sacred anymore?